A Mother

Jan 10, 2011

I want to encourage everyone including myself, that we all need to be open so it will give others a chance to speak to us about our children. And when we are given something concerning our children, take it and talk and pray about what was given. God will show you what he wants.

I have things that I know I am very poor at...I do not you want to think or feel that I am pointing fingers at you nor that I am perfect.
Is it a bad thing to have standards, in which to raise our children? I do not really know, I am still seeking for that answer.

For those of us that are still raising littles, we should be asking each other and the older ladies for insight of how we are doing, with raising our children. I know that our children is a very delicate subject to talk about...

I have been there and I am still trying to open my hands up wide, in hopes that I nor my husband are the only ones scuplting our daughters. I think that if our young people are going to thrive here and those coming up behind them, we need to start holding our hands open for God to start His work with them.

Nov 10, 2010
Discerning Differences is the study topic.
-Ephesians 6:1-19
   As parents, we know we should love our children equally, yet we do ourselves a disservice if we set out to love our children in the exact same way. (Note the Difference.) Children are individuals with different wants, needs and interests. The parenting methods that worked for child number one may completely fail for child number two.
   It's up to parents to discoverhow each child wants to be loved. Resist the urge to love your children in the way you prefer. Adjust your style to cater to each child. Make sure each one knows that he or she is deeply loved.
And here are a few questions as well.
-How do your children express love?
-What can you learn from them about how they want to be loved?
-What can you do to better show your love for each of them?
Word to take with you today: Discern
   Our children are very different than any other. God made it that way so we would not "become robots" living on this Earth treating every single child the same. Some of us have "become robots", and God wants us to be how He created us . I think of the discerning differences as parts of the Body wanting to be something it is not, or being treated as such.
   I have totally seen how Subria and Jasmine are So much the same, yet they are So different. I think Subria like has a sense of love about her when she is climbing all over you and when her poky toes are digging in :) She enjoys doing it and sometime laughs, and it does not always feel good.  And the bad thing is, I think she got that from me... When I was younger, I found pleasure in people getting hurt. I would laugh when my mom would pound her finger with the hammer, or hit her shin on the coffee table; and things like that. (in which, I believe for the most part, is past now :) So my hope is that Subria would not get as far as I was, with people in pain.  Okay, so I am telling on myself :)
   Anyways, we need to be diligent in not putting our children in the same box with each other. God made them all different.
Nov 8, 2010
Okay, I have another small posting from "Jill Rigby" It ties into the Discipline part. 
This is a comparison of Discipline vs. Punishment.
        Discipline                   vs.              Punishment
Leads to Change                            Leads to Little Change
Encourages                                    Discourages
Educates (right from wrong)         Shames
For the child’s benefit                   For the parents benefit
Comes from Love                          Comes from fear
Encourages respect                       Encourages resentment
Leads to self-discipline                  Leads to rebellion

I will later post the School of Respect Report card, for people to have an Idea on what that looks like.

Nov 3, 2010

Vital Discipline is the study topic
-1 Samuel 3:12-13 or 2:12-3:11

With all the ugly stories of child abuse we hear, disciplining children has become a touchy subject. Yet we've all met people who grew up without discipline - and that neglect is another form of abuse. When Eli refused to discipline his children, God actually stepped in. God approves of discipline and expects us to lovingly discipline our children. Discipline provides a sense of structure for children, allowing them to feel safe. And giving children consequences for their actions while they're young spare them from greater consequences as adults.

 And here are a few questions as well.
-What is the goal of discipline?
-Do you know someone who grew up without discipline?
-What makes disciplining children so difficult?

Word to take with you today: Discipline

*Discipline comes from the Latin root, discipere, which means "to grasp intellectually, analyze thoroughly" from dis - "apart" + capere - "take."

*When parents discipline their children, they are taking apart the problem in order to thoroughly analyze it.

*Discipline is teaching the children to Do good rather than Feel good.

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
                       Self-Esteem                                     Self-Respect
                    Happiness (which is fleeting)             Joy (which is lasting)
                    Greed                                                Gratitude
                    Arrogance                                         Humility
                    Insecurity                                          Confidence
                    Discontentment                                Contentment
                    Futility                                             Perseverance
                    Self-centeredness                             Others-centeredness
                    Ill-mannered                                    Well-mannered
Adapted from: Jill Rigby
Well, I am starting to question  if I am disciplining or exasperating, Subria. This is really good to have look at, and it means that we as parents do not have to do something just because we are told too. We have the oppertunity to look into these things ourselves. I tend to sometimes just do what I think is best, but really we need to be searching how God would have us take care of the problems that arise.
My next study posting will be "Discerning Differences."
Nov 1, 2010
Am I ready for being a mother? I think that is a little late to ask now :)  I have been doing a lot of thinking and asking how I am to raise my girls. Well, not entirely mine; but God's. He gave them to me, to teach them about His life and how He wants us to live. 
What are we to do when we have come full circle with the same issue, and it is still going on? We get help, from God and our dear friends. What has stood out to me is that I have to be repetitive in my instructions when I am talking to my two year old Subria.
I was looking in my Bible, and asking for some kind of insight as how I am to continue. And I found this from a "Busy Mom's Bible" NIV (it really is neat, it has study pages through out the Bible on various topics)  and in case you want this Bible the ISBN is 978-0-310-94973-2  :)
Repeat Daily is the study topic. 
-Deuteronomy 6:6-7 or 6:1-25
"If it were that important, I would have remembered it" is a big fat lie we tell ourselves. Our abundant use of sticky notes, electronic organizers and calenders on the wall attest to the fact that we function best with constant reminders. When God first gave instructions to the Israelites, He knew His people would need daily reminders. The most important information is not absorbed instantly - it is steeped into our hearts through repetition. Today, tell your children again about God' s wisdom and love. They need to be reminded as much as you do. Make a week longplan for sharing with your children what you know about God and stick it to your fridge.
And here are a few questions as well.
-How natural is it for you to talk about God with you children?
-Would your children say that God is the center of your life?
-In what ways do you demonstrate to your children your love and reverence for God?
Word to take with you today: Repetition
So, with that in mind; I was set to thinking. In order for my child to learn what is important, I need to be constantly reminding her what is of God. I am still, all too new at this parenting thing. But I do know I want my children to grow up knowing God and loving everyone around them.
Now there are days, that seem like I do not want to tell Subria one more time to do something or not; that forces me to discipline. Believe it or not, if I do not use my "Big Mommy Voice" she tends to think I do not mean what I am talking about. It is important to follow all the way through with whatever you or I am doing with our children. There was a time that Subria needed to say thank-you to her Auntie Chasah. And Subria being in a testy mood, she refused to obey. I took her to the back and talk with her, put her in time out, and have her say thank-you three times to me. Then we would go out to tell Auntie Chasah, "Thank-you". But, this continued for thirty minutes before she finally obeyed to me. I now know my daughter has a strong will and that I need to make sure her will forms to mine; especially when she is not obeying. And for her to get inside my heart and stay. With this repeating thing, it is not a nice thing to look forward too, but I want to take on the challenge. And hope you will too.
My next study topic will be a little on discipline. 

Being a Mother
(Copied from a teaching of Noah Taylor)

Being a mother in the Body of Christ comes from the work of being a sister and wife. Without seeking God together as sisters and working together as husband and wife (where possible), being a mother becomes a very difficult task. A mother must learn to nourish, cherish, and train her young. The training of a young child is accomplished through two primary ways. The first is setting a good example the second is consistent teaching while children watch your good example. Kids “pick up” through observing the parents conduct more than they ever learn through instruction. If the example you set contradicts the teaching you teach your example will always win out. Failing at becoming a good sister in Christ and not following God’s instruction at being a good wife will nullify the strongest of teaching. Our lives are the proof that what we teach either works or doesn’t work. 

              Areas of Training
1. Their very lives depend on you teaching respect.(Exodus 20:12)
From the very outset of their lives children must be taught to respect their parents. If you fail at this you condemn their souls to rebellion and ruin. This admonition is repeated in the New Testament as well. (Ephesians 6:2)
2. Nothing will profit your children who are not taught to love. (1Corinthians 1:1-3). To allow your children to be discourteous and rude is to cripple their growth and all future attainment.
3. Since the first encounter with authority is the parents it will be them who set the precedent for all actions and feelings toward God.
Who can find a woman of valor? For she is to be sought after more than wealth. The heart of her husband will look to her for he will always find true wealth in her because she wants to do him good and bring him honor. This woman gets up while it is still dark seeking spiritual and physical food for all the ones who are with her. She makes herself strong and works to keep herself strong even into the night. She is always taking care of people who can’t take care of themselves and is always ready to aid them. Power and majesty are her covering and she is unafraid of what the future will bring. When she speaks it is always with wisdom bound by the law of kindness. She knows what is going on in her household because she is diligent to find out. In this endeavor she never rest. Being looked upon as popular and charming is a deception for outward beauty is only for a moment…But a woman who seeks to please the Lord will be known and praised by all. (Proverbs 31:10-12, 15, 17, 18, 20, 25-27, 30)